Sondrina Bullitt: The counterbalance for grief is joy

This post is part of a Grief Care series, featuring BIPOC healers across multiple traditions and modalities. Each week will spotlight a different healer, sharing their work, how they’re meeting these deeply challenging times, the grief they’re carrying and how they’re tending to it, and what it means to hold space for their communities at the intersections of healing and justice.

Today, I talk with Sondrina Bullitt, licensed acupuncturist and herbalist and founder of The Healing Sp-ce, a holistic medicine practice in Los Angeles.

“We are beings of community and cannot survive without one another.” - Sondrina Bullitt

What drew you to become an acupuncturist?

My career path has always been guided toward being a healthcare provider. My original plans of attending allopathic medical school changed in 2011 while I was attending a graduate program in public health. At the time, I was struggling with eczema and terrible digestive issues and I was tired of being on prescription medications. I decided to do my own research about how to “naturally heal eczema,” and my world changed forever.

As I sought information for myself, I learned all about holistic medicine, natural and traditional medicines, which I had never heard of. I read so many stories and listened to many testimonies from people who had utilized non-pharmaceutical and non-surgical approaches to restoring health in their body. So I started seeking treatment for my body from a naturopathic doctor and acupuncturist. After several months of treatment, I experienced dramatic changes in my skin, digestive system and overall well-being. At that point, I decided to study Traditional Asian medicine, and completed four years of medical training.

Holistic health modalities are still sometimes stereotyped as indulgences for the wealthy or seen as completely inaccessible in BIPOC communities: did you have a different experience of this world?

Modern-day trends of holistic health are afforded by groups who have more expendable income and/or more information about other healthcare options. In the Western world, this trend is heavily marketed toward non-BIPOC communities. However, BIPOC populations have aspects of natural or holistic medicine within their cultures — it’s just not seen as “holistic health.”

Such health modalities are considered “traditional” or “indigenous” to BIPOC populations, which are oftentimes misappropriated by mainstream culture and repackaged as a new “health trend.” I would say that in general, current holistic health modalities are not as readily accessible to BIPOC groups, which I have experienced first-hand. Given the way that our healthcare system is set up, there is little to no insurance coverage for “alternative” treatments, which also discourages folks from accessing more holistic forms of care.

As a black woman living in this body in this time, how vital is Traditional Chinese Medicine to your well-being?

I would say that taking care of my entire being is vital in these times, no matter what form of medicine is used. I personally utilize Traditional Chinese Medicine because I understand the philosophies of it, and my entire being can be supported through various modalities within the medicine.

Acupuncture has been transformative for my life and my physical body. Like other healing modalities, acupuncture works to rebalance/harmonize existing imbalances within the body. It affects your entire system: mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. Changes and shifts can occur that you wouldn’t even expect days after treatment — and that’s what I love about the medicine. Over time, it also brings you into a deeper connection with your body and who you are.

The key is to listen to your body and respond to what it’s telling you. If you feel tired, rest. If you’re anxious, redirect your focus and practice deep breathing. I do not hesitate to seek care when I am in need.

Obviously, these are incredibly challenging and tumultuous times, and many of us are grieving multiple losses, from the loss of life as we knew it to the ongoing brutality against black and brown bodies: what are some of the griefs you’ve been present to in your own life these last few months?

Grief has been a frequent and lingering emotion throughout this year. Over the past several months, I’ve been grieving the loss of certainty, control, employment, Black lives and freedom. This has affected my entire well-being, but I have gradually been able to process and work through these griefs.

What does your grief care look like?

My grief care looks like frequent prayer, crying, journaling, walking/movement, acupuncture, herbal medicine, therapy and rest.

In Traditional Chinese Medicine, grief is the emotion of the lungs. Can you talk about why that is, and what it means for our bodies?

Within Traditional Chinese Medicine, there are emotions that are associated with specific organs systems/phases of the body. Grief and sadness are associated with the lungs, and an excess of these emotions can injure this system. The Qi of the lungs can become depleted, causing our bodies to become more vulnerable to sickness.

When there is any type of imbalance in the body, symptoms and signs will arise. So the key is to work through the emotions and process them so that they don’t become stuck and overwhelm the systemic functions of the body. The counterbalance for grief is joy. Through the grieving process, find ways to cultivate joy and a gratitude to help heal and move forward.

What and/or where are the blockages the energy of grief can create in our bodies?

The chest and bowels are major areas of the body where energetic blockages can be caused by grief. In the chest, there can be feelings of heaviness, shallow breathing, heavy sighing, respiratory challenges and easy susceptibility to colds/allergies. In the bowels, there can be sluggish bowel movements, constipation, bloating, stomach aches or even loose stools.

Given that Covid-19 affects the lungs, do you think the virus could also represent a collective imbalance given our tendency as a society to repress or deny difficult emotions like grief?

This is an interesting question, one that I have personally been thinking about since global quarantines were in effect. From a 5 Element energetic perspective [Five Element theory is a system of thought within Traditional Chinese Medicine], I think covid-19 is a counter-attack from the liver onto the lungs. The emotion associated with liver is anger, and there’s been a great deal of frustrations, anger, lack of support and toxic build-up among populations and within the earth over recent generations. The lung controls liver, but if the liver system becomes overwhelmed and in excess, it will counteract on the lungs and create imbalances specific to the lungs.

And now we’re experiencing a global pandemic that physically attacks the lung system, social unrest and injustices that are rooted in grief, and political unrest rooted in anger. To me, I see an extreme imbalance in the relationship between liver and lung.

How do you work to bring the body back in balance when someone’s in deep grief?

It’s important for me to first hold space for compassion, empathy and kindness. The body does not need to be in a space where there is criticism or judgement. So first checking myself internally and letting go of anything that will not serve myself or the person I am working with. Next, I ask open-ended questions, and allow the person to share whatever is on their heart at the time. This allows Qi to start moving before any physical treatment begins. And eventually I will transition to providing acupuncture and listen to what the body needs in that moment. Then I allow the body time to rest and do what’s needed to restore balance. Balance happens a little bit at a time over a course of treatments. Deep grief support takes time and gentle care.

Does it surprise people that acupuncture is helpful for moving grief through the body (I’d imagine some still think of it as a treatment for physical conditions when it actually is a mind-body-spirit protocol)?

Yes, people are very surprised. People report feeling unstuck, (having) more calm and clearer thinking. Some treatments have even caused people to cry while on the treatment table. It’s been an honor to witness the healing effects that have taken place during treatment for someone.

Are there any other tools or protocols in your practice that you recommend for grief support?

I encourage movement and expression of thoughts and feelings. I allow the person to dictate what that looks like for themselves. Some prefer to dance or go running, others prefer hiking — as long as the body is in motion, it doesn’t matter to me. With expression, I suggest activities like journaling, talk therapy, writing, painting, etc. The key is to not allow the energy of the emotions and thoughts to become stuck, which will inevitably slow a person down and can cause a form of paralysis. In TCM, we always want Qi to move and flow and never become stagnant.

For those in the movement community right now, whether they’re organizing or in the streets, what are some of the symptoms of grief and trauma that you’re seeing?

I am seeing and hearing about a lot of symptoms of anxiety, paranoia, fear,  insomnia and loss of appetite. These symptoms relate to all of the systems within the body which tells me that there is systemic imbalance being experienced by many people as a result of what’s taking place in our social and political climate.

From a TCM perspective, is there a difference between how we experience the grief of generational trauma and systemic oppression versus griefs like the loss of a loved one or a job or relationship?

Grief and trauma that is unhealed or not resolved will be passed on and repeated. In TCM, our Jing, which is similar to our DNA in western science, stores memories and also contains our individual identity. So when we create new life and reproduce, those memories and our identity are passed along to our offspring. I believe that the body is highly adaptive, and though certain traumas may be passed along, they may not affect us in an acute manner like the sudden loss of a friend or a job. However, the generational trauma can be manifested over time in the form of chronic diseases like autoimmune issues that may arise in early life or later on.

Given the disparities in access to health and wellness services that communities of color face, how can we be more empowered to take care of each other and center healing in the everyday fight to stay alive?

I am a big advocate of taking control over your own body and not allowing any outside entity to control your health and well-being. We must do our own research and become informed recipients of health care. We must read and learn information and hear the advice, then sit with it and make an informed decision.

Shifting the “me” mindset into “we” is also important. We must love and care for one another. This looks like treating one another with kindness, protecting one another, feeding our families health-supporting foods, resolving conflict peacefully, being active together, etc. All of these things and more can help us become healthier and fill in gaps when access to care is limited.

Self-care has been a pillar of the wellness industry for several years now but times like these are shifting that focus to community care: why is that so vital, especially now?

Focusing on the “self” and being self-centered — not caring for our neighbor or family — is not part of our inherent nature. We are beings of community and cannot survive without one another. I believe that we must care for ourselves and our communities at the same time — it’s not an either or situation. We are better off as a whole than we are apart. It is even more important now to engage in community care because our lives depend on it. While we’re taking care of ourselves individually, we must be intentional about supporting and lifting up the next person. If not, we as a whole will cease to exist over time.

As a black woman facilitating black wellness, do you see yourself as having a unique role or calling?

My calling is to be of service to the healthcare needs of others. My vision is to provide support for BIPOC individuals who otherwise would not be able to access traditional and holistic forms of medicine. My goal is to empower BIPOC people to exercise autonomy over their health and lives by imparting education and information that will enable them to be their own advocates.

Do you have a personal philosophy or mantra that guides you in your work?

I have a few. My mom always told me growing up that “closed mouths don’t get fed.” So speak up and let your voice be heard. I maintain this philosophy in my practice when working with patients and supporting them in navigating the conventional healthcare system. Additionally, I also encourage them to communicate with me and let me know what their needs are.

Another philosophy that guides me is that healing is not linear and it requires forward movement. The journey of healing looks different for everyone — some journeys are short, and others are longer. The process is never perfect and there will be some dips and bumps along the way, but that doesn’t mean you should give up or shame yourself for an undesired setback. If a challenge arises, work through it and move forward. By continuing to move forward towards whatever the achievement is, the more likely you are to attain it and succeed.

If you could offer one piece of wisdom to help people hold the grief and trauma of these intense times with more compassion, what would it be?

Experience the emotions and find ways to work through them in a healthy manner. Redirect your heart’s focus to gratitude and cultivate a sense of joy to counter the grief and trauma. Be kind and loving to yourself as well as other people, even if you disagree with them. You cannot fight fire with fire.

BIO 

Sondrina Bullitt is a licensed acupuncturist and founder of The Healing Sp-ce, an Acupuncture & Traditional Asian Medicine practice. She holds Master’s degrees in both Traditional Asian Medicine and Public Health, with an emphasis in health education and health promotion. She specializes in Sa’am Korean Acupuncture technique and treats a broad range of conditions. She strongly believes in empowering patients to take charge of their health by becoming informed consumers. As a result, she incorporates health education in all appointments and encourages patients to think critically about their health. Sondrina enjoys approaching healthcare with an open mind and maintains a healthy level of curiosity. She never shies away from a challenge and gives her best to every patient served.