Crystal Augustono: to heal is to fall in love with ourselves again
This post is part of a Grief Care series, featuring BIPOC healers across multiple traditions and modalities. Each week will spotlight a different healer, sharing their work, how they’re meeting these deeply challenging times, the grief they’re carrying and how they’re tending to it, and what it means to hold space for their communities at the intersections of healing and justice.
Today, I talk with Crystal Augustono, a Usui Reiki Practitioner and herbalist from Maryland.
What drew you to your work as a reiki practitioner and herbalist?
I was drawn to work as a reiki practitioner because of the undeniable change it created in my life. It created such beauty and opportunity for healing that I knew I was meant to share that with others —I couldn’t keep it to myself! Herbalism is something that I think was always in my spirit, but I didn’t realize it until this year. I love plants, but they called to me in a whole new way this year!
Did you seek out or were you exposed to alternative/non-traditional therapies in your own healing journey?
Not initially. I remember vaguely hearing about reiki but not really learning what it was until after I became a mother. My post-partum journey really pushed me to find new ways to rebalance myself. I learned of reiki from a friend who loved it, and suggested it to me in tandem with traditional therapy. I was resistant at first — I think deep down I knew it would change me! But I am so glad my dear friend showed me this modality and that I was brave enough to try it.
How has being a reiki practitioner been vital to your healing?
I think prior to experiencing and learning Reiki, I thought healing was a destination. I know otherwise now! It has been vital to me because knowing that my journey to heal is anything but linear, it provides me with a tool to use at all stages. It provides me with the ability to ask myself what I need and what is triggering me. What is left unhealed? Reiki allows me to answer these questions without judgement and in a way that allows me to show myself some grace. Therapy and counseling did wonders for me, but what I often felt at first was this shame. I would leave a session thinking “these are the things that are wrong with me and I have to fix them because this isn’t normal.” That isn’t true, of course, but it wasn’t until I began to experience and study reiki that I extended this grace to myself.
It was much less harsh but much more realistic to say that there were some things that existed and deserved to be acknowledged within me and rather than be ashamed of those shadowy parts, I should work to understand them. If I understood them and learned their origin, I wouldn’t always fall prey to the way they play out in my life. I could learn from these things and make different choices, have different reactions. To know we ALL had things to heal made me view trauma and healing as less taboo, and more of an act of self-care. It isn’t anything to be ashamed of.
For those who may not be familiar with reiki, how would you describe it?
Reiki is a non-invasive, holistic healing modality that uses life force energy to promote relaxation, stress relief and physical healing. As the practitioner, I channel this energy into the recipient using my hands. The beauty of reiki is that it can be done in person or at a distance — I don’t even have to be touching the client, which is wonderful, because it can be done anywhere for anyone who is in need. People often experience better sleep, a sense of calmness and mental clarity, as well as a reduction in any physical symptoms they may be experiencing, as it helps rebalance the energy centers within their own physical and energetic body.
There are so many ways to share and amplify this healing energy: do you work with any guides or ancestors, stones or crystals or anything else that you feel magnifies and supports the flow of energy?
This is SUCH a good question. Reiki works SO well with many of these things. For me personally, it has opened so many channels and increased my intuition significantly. I always call upon the ascended masters, and what I call my Council of Light — those ascended masters, angels, guides and ancestors who I know are always walking this path with me, sending me messages, and assisting in my healing. I always call upon my clients’ guides, as well, when I am working. They are always there to protect us and make sure that this energy and its intentions are used for our highest good when doing healing work. In my own practice, reiki helps me connect with messages from my ancestors, and since it is such a beautiful healing energy, it assists me in healing the generational trauma — as I said, the work is never done, haha! My relationship with my ancestors has blossomed as a result.
Crystals are another beautiful tool that can help us harness, amplify or ground our energy. I use reiki to charge and clear my crystals, as well as other objects.
I have recently begun exploring tarot and I LOVE IT. I was quite resistant at first but I would regularly have dreams about shopping for decks or reading cards, so I felt like it was calling to me. I am so glad I picked them up because tarot is also teaching me about what I need to heal, embrace or let go of. Energy truly seems to be everywhere we look for it and give it reverence — tarot is a wonderful tool for connecting with one’s own energy, as well!
Do you have a personal philosophy or mantra that guides you in your work?
Yes, it is simple, but it is always this — why not me or you? I hold the philosophy that we may FEEL like we are very ordinary people, and so who are we to pour so much energy into the care of our spirit. What is the point? But, we are so extraordinary, in fact, that God, the Divine, wants us to heal ourselves and aid in healing each other so that we can experience our lives with a level of joy and gratitude that we otherwise might not be able to find.
As a woman of color in the field of healing and wellness, what are you most passionate about?
Bringing healing to people who think it isn’t for them. Healing is for EVERYONE, but I feel that right now, BIPOC need it more than ever. One thing that brings me great comfort is the amount of women of color embracing their divinity and pursuing their wellness and true self-care. So right now, I’m asking myself and others, how can I hold space for myself and other women of color in this climate of chaos? How can I amplify my own voice and experience so that someone says, “let me see what this is about,” and starts to heal and fall in love with themselves again?
Why is it important to you to share and create greater access to more nontraditional approaches to healing for communities of color?
I believe what we deem as “non-traditional” is actually the true path. We cannot separate ourselves from our spirit, from the Divine, from the Earth, because it is ALL Spirit. When we start living away from that, we forget who we are, what we are capable of and our intuition. This isn’t to say that some of our more modern techniques aren’t useful, but sometimes you have to go back to the beginning and back to basics. Many of these traditions are rooted in ancient practices that people used LONG before we had massive health systems and pharmaceuticals, therapists, etc. I think these things can work TOGETHER in healing, but we cannot forget about tradition in our communities of color. I want people to responsibly explore these traditions and find their personal power again.
How can Reiki benefit someone who is grieving?
Reiki will often help people come to a place where they are ready to confront and acknowledge their grief. While it won’t take the pain away and make us unable to feel it, it will help us see it for what it is and create space for us to begin that healing process. Sometimes it is hard for us to do that on our own, and so a reiki practitioner can beautifully hold space for our emotions and the ways that they manifest in our daily life. Reiki can guide us through the process.
What might the grieving receive from a Reiki session that they might not be able to access through other modalities?
From my viewpoint, I can’t say that it will bring something that other modalities can’t. I think it is just the method of how you arrive there that is different. People may not realize that the pain in their body may be a direct correlation with the trauma or grief they are holding in their emotional body. We don’t want you to hold on to that pain in your emotional body or in your mind because it can easily manifest in your body and affect your well being. I believe that in a reiki session, people receive acknowledgement of how grief can affect you in a multitude of ways.
I’ve had some powerful reiki sessions in the past where I’ve received messages from loved ones who have passed or had surprising visions that have been very healing: have those kinds of experiences been common in your practice?
Oh, yes, absolutely, and I’m amazed every time it happens, as a practitioner and as a client myself. As a practitioner, I often get “knowings” or claircognizant messages. For example, I had one really lovely client recently that was experiencing a lot of grief after the passing of her loved one, who was the matriarch of her family. What she needed to know was that SHE was now preparing to be the matriarch. She had a love and heart that was made for it, and Spirit wanted her to know this so she could heal and prepare for that role, and find comfort in all the connection she experienced with her loved one. There was something really profound about helping the client acknowledge how her closeness to this relative was actually a sort of schooling or education. This pain she was experiencing was happening for a reason.
I think sometimes our lessons from Spirit come in the form of discomfort, pain or grief, so that we learn how to move beyond it. It is in this process that we find our personal strength.
The last several months have taken a toll on all of us, from the pandemic to the racial unrest and reckoning of this moment. What have you been grieving during this time?
Honestly, our old lives. I know our old way of being was not sustainable. It was hard on our bodies and on our souls. There was, and continues to be, so much suffering. But surrender is difficult. I’ve been grieving the loss of predictability. I also truly miss our friends and family that we have not been able to see in these months. In January, I became a stay-at-home mom, and without the socialization and resources, parenting two kids (young ones at that!) has become incredibly challenging. I miss simple things like taking them on play dates and going to the pool. Even harder is that because I am an Empath, I hate to feel the amount of suffering people are going through collectively. The air is so heavy at times that it can be suffocating if I don’t pull myself away. When I start to feel that way, I know that I need to scale back on information and lean more on my own self-care practices and on family.
How are you tending to your grief?
I have to lean into it when I feel it creeping in. I have to acknowledge it. Give it room to make itself known. But then I must release it by surrendering to the unknown and to a greater plan. I journal a lot, give myself reiki and also receive it from my mentor on a regular basis. I find an immense amount of comfort in tending to my little herb garden and making remedies. It lets me touch the earth and create something new with that energy. It really is a lovely process. In the forefront of my mind I try to remember that this is all hard, but it cannot last forever. God’s delays are not denials, but on the contrary, we are building something new that is much more sustainable than the way of life we have been living. I find comfort from my grief in hope.
What tips or suggestions would you offer to help others be more present to their grief and tend to it?
Please do not shoo grief away. I know that it hurts, but keeping it out or pushing it down will only place it in a box for it to pop out later. People need to have their grief acknowledged. Try to seek out help in the form of energy work, writing, friendship, therapy, yoga and movement. Indeed, a variety of these things will help you feel and then release these emotions. Do not think that you have to tackle this all alone. Allow someone to hold space for you. The message that you have nobody but yourself is a farce. Yes, you must ultimately do the work to move beyond grief so that it doesn’t consume you, but there are some wonderful people who can assist you in this. Ask for guides and ancestors to reveal them to you, and watch them work!
We live in a culture that is so resistant to acknowledging and creating space for grief: what words of wisdom would you offer to someone beginning their grief journey?
Please, please, show yourself the same love you would give to someone you care about. You are ALWAYS worth the effort. Again, I would say, recognize what you are grieving and the way it is affecting you, and seek help. We, especially people of color, are seen as so strong that we can just get over things without talking about them or fixing them. As I stated before, this is only going to show up somewhere else in your life. You don’t have to play whac-a-mole with your emotions forever. If you don’t know where to begin, speak aloud or write down what you are feeling and what you are experiencing. Ask the Divine for help and again, see how the Divine shows up to support you once you are ready to heal. Be gentle and gracious with yourself in this process. Showing yourself love is key!
BIO
Crytal Augustono is a Level I/II Usui Reiki practitioner and herbalist, whose life has been changed by reiki’s divine healing energy. During her first-ever reiki session, the practitioner said to her, “I could barely get started before your angels and guides started talking over one another to give you messages.” She had never met this practitioner before, yet during that session, that healer acknowledged the very specific trauma and loss she had experienced, offering guidance on letting go. That “beautiful and strange and powerful” experience convinced Augustono she was meant to share this energy medicine with others.
She believes reiki can help people bring what needs to be healed to the surface, allowing them to see their Divine nature and removing what no longer serves their higher selves. Reiki has taught her that self-love is one of the purest things we can experience. She is currently offering Reiki on the Regular sessions by donation, where you can send her your intentions for healing and manifestation and she will send them reiki. Learn more @templehoneyhealing and about her services here.