“I believe that the path to transformative healing for race and grief collectively is to bring it all to the surface.” - Kira Buckley
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“Our bodies know what we need and we need to cultivate a culture in which it's OK to listen to the needs of your body.” - Heather Archer
“To feel held by another who can understand and relate to your pain is just the epitome of healing. There is a magic, a transmutation of one’s grief when we are able to witness another and be witnessed in our most vulnerable state.” - Simone Baker
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“Healing is for EVERYONE, but I feel that right now, BIPOC need it more than ever.. So right now, I’m asking myself and others, how can I hold space for myself and other women of color in this climate of chaos?” - Crystal Augustono
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“I’ve come to believe that a big part of the sacred work that many of us came to do in these times is to restore our ancestral practices of grieving, tending to death and dying, and simply being in relationship with our ancestors.” - Dr. Diana Quinn Inlak’ech
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We all respond differently to grief. But the key part is to respond — in a way that honors our true feelings and experience, that makes room to process and move through the layers. That allows us to tune into our bodies and all they’re holding.
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We are already being stripped to the bare essentials under quarantine, re-evaluating what matters most and envisioning what we want our life to look like moving forward. Death asks the same of us, instructs, “Go live. Live every bold and urgent breath of your glorious beating heart.”
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A 2014 study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that the most emotionally resilient mourners were the ones who turned to ritual in the aftermath of their loss. But while we may traditionally think of mourning rituals as public expressions of grief, the study found that in most cases, those rituals were private — small acts that helped the bereaved connect to their loved ones in moving and powerful ways.
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I let the tears come. I put my hand on my heart. I told myself, "I am here for this moment."
And I allowed that sorrow to speak, let myself be with the heaviness of these times.
…we can find a glimmer of consolation in our grief by using occasions like Valentine’s
Day and other holidays and anniversaries to honor our loved one who’s died. To pay tribute to
their memory in a way that’s meaningful to us.
When I think of his death, in a hospital bed surrounded by family who loved him, I think of the blessing of his not dying alone. Of his brother standing at his head with a hand on his shoulder, one of his sisters winging her arms over his body as the hymns of their faith fell from her lips. Another sister and niece standing close by with their own silent songs and prayers, and every now and then my cousin’s voice: “Go toward the light.”
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